~ Liga Manusia Ordinari ~

Dah hampir 2 minggu aku batuk bercampur selsema. Selama tu jugak aku tak hisap rokok (Hehehe.. Gila apa, kurang hisap je..). Aku tension! Gaji tak dapat lagi. Orang lain sibuk suruh ubah cara hidup, yang terumbang-ambing macam bot tak tertambat ni macam mana..?

Rilek.. Cool.. Aku tak bermaksud nak emosi, batuk berselsema ni memudaratkan fikiran suci aku.

Apa yang boleh dibuat? Macam-macam petua nenek yang aku dah try. Tak elok jugak..

Mungkin ini je jalan yang paling lurus..

Yepi!! Esok pegi klinik ambik sijil cuti sakit.. Hahaha... Saja aku melayukan perkataan M.C. kasi janggal!! Cuti umum yang begitu bermakna. Macam video ni, hayatilah...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ci5pibnBgt8

Aku maksudkan video, bukan 'benda' yang di-promote! Paham!

Awak.. awak..
Saya minta maaf..
Sebab cium awak..

Dah dekat 2 minggu aku bercuti tanpa gaji.. Best-best.. Hari-hari makan, tido, tengok TV, makan durian, tengok DVD, minum-minum kat Mamak. Wahhh.. Nikmatnyee..
.
.
.
.
Jangan jealous ye encik Deja, Kelambu dan lelain

• Istilah pondan (Mak nyah, bapuk, darai, ponen, banci, kedi, papak) merujuk kepada lelaki transeksual iaitu individu yang mempunyai biologi lelaki, tetapi mendakwa mempunyai naluri wanita. Golongan ini sering menggunakan istilah terperangkap dalam tubuh yang salah' atau 'wanita dilahirkan transeksual'.
  
• Pakar dalam isu ini, Pensyarah Kriminologi dan Sosiologi dari Universiti Utara Malaysia (UUM) Professor Madya Dr Teh Yik Koon, berkata mak nyah secara amnya merujuk kepada lelaki transeksual, iaitu lelaki Mukhannas yang mahukan jantina berbeza daripada jantina asal.
• Daripada persepsi Islam, jantina dibahagikan kepada empat kumpulan iaitu lelaki, perempuan, khunsa (mempunyai dua jantina) dan mukhannis atau ukhannas.
  

Isnin yang lalu akak aku ada kursus di Hotel Singgahsana Petaling Jaya selama 4 hari 3 malam. Biasanya akak aku akan roger aku untuk minta teman dia bermalam di hotel. Bukan apa, akak aku tak berani bila sengsorang di bilik hotel ni. Dipendekkan cite aku pun teman la akak aku selama dia di sana. Kebetulan adik aku yang belajar di Gombak dan dekat Bangi pun join sekali. Kebetulan diorang takde kelas. Sebelah siang aku macam biasa aku pergi kerja. Tapi bila malam, akak aku ajak jalan-jalan KL. Walaupun penat aku gi juga bersama adik-beradik aku gi jalan-jalan Times Square, KL Sentral dan Kajang. Kakak aku duk Johor, so banyak yang dia teringin nak pergi bila sampai KL. Walaupun penat seronok gak la gi jejalan, lepak dengan adik-beradik aku. Bila kuar dengan akak aku, macam-macam yang dia belanja. Makan pun macam-macam.

Pergh!! Besh besh. Tapi bila nak last day tu, aku rasa macam tak puas pulak bila nak berpisah. Erm.. Ni la aset yang berharga yang aku amat hargai. Tiba-tiba rasa dah lama tak lepak dengan mak bapa aku. Next week aku mau balik kampung. Lepak sama family. Yeay!!

Jika sebelum ni aku terfikir teringin nak ada awek, belum tentu kalau ada awek aku dapat luangkan masa bersama adik beradik aku.

Maka, aku kena hargai ape yang aku ada dan apa yang aku tiada tu pasti akan aku perolehi apabila tiba masanya nanti. Redah jee..

Lama sudah aku tak telefon Omar. Habis saja belajar di UIA dulu dia terus terbang ke Khartoum.

Satu hari aku terima panggilan dengan nombor aneh.

"Hoi, apa cerita Malaysia? Liwat sana liwat sini. Bikin malu saja sama Sudan."

"Mana kau tahu ni?"

"Apa kau ingat di Sudan aku tak boleh akses Google?"

"Jangan percaya sangat apa yang kau baca. Kami ok. Aman makmur. Inflasi kurang. Kaya raya. Harga minyak mahal pun kami mampu lagi. Tak percaya datanglah. Nanti aku belanja kau cendol yang kau cakap makanan dari syurga tu."

"Oh, yakah? Bangsat punya Amerika! Tipu!"

"Tapi, apa cerita tuan presiden yang kau puja tu? Omar el-Beshir sudah bunuh ribu-ribu orang. Dan ICC sudah mau keluar waran dakwa. Apa kes?"

"Jangan percaya sangat apa yang kau baca. Kami kat sini ok. Yang nama Omar tu mestilah bagus dan mulia. Tahun depan kami dah boleh mengundi. Ini baru betul demokrasi!"

"Oh, yakah? Bangsat punya Amerika! Tipu!"

Itu hari aku pergi main boling dengan budak-budak aku. Al-maklum.. Lama gak aku tak main boling ni, puas aku buat decision making nak main ke tak nak.. Lastly aku terjebak, siyut betul!! Oklah.., bila lagi nak entertain kawan-kawan kan!! "Hari yang gelap kini sudah cerah" Lebih kurang macam tu suasana main boling kat alam ria kanak-kanak...

Nak kata aku bagus, takdelah sangat pun, tapi kalau yang power pun boleh tersungkur kat tangan aku ape cer ni?! Walau kita sedia maklum kekalahan adat permainan, itu tak menjadikan aku bongkak, riak dan takabbur.. Apa pun, korang enjoylah tengok gambar ni..

Ini antara gambar-gambar yang aku terambik.. Tapi aku heranlah, seingat aku hari tu kita 'bet n side-bet'. Siapa kalah kena bogel, siapa menang kena belanja... Apa sudah jadi!?.. Aku ranking tengah je.. Hahaha..

Beb.., ibarat kata "Kaki sudah terlangkahkan, tangan sudah terjembakan"... Dan lagi sekali aku gelak, HAHAHAHAHA...

Within and without the context of video games, a headshot usually signifies a shot of particular skill - the head is one of the smallest targets on the body, and is therefore one of the most difficult to shoot. In another terms.. headshot is just like 'check mate'.. meaning that its over for u & u cant do anything to counter it..

Well.. headshot isn't something bad actually.. depends on ur intention and how u define it.. for the police, soldier or any good guys wif gun.. especially the sniper and so on.. aiming for the head is just to stop the enemy from doing something more dangerous and more stupid, thus it may results in more casualties.. for that, u have to totally incapacitate them..

But for me..

"Ayah.. we are expecting!! Alhamdulillah.." - thats my wife sms after she had the good news based on the tester that we bought from Guardian Pharmacy.. i was at the office at that time.. can u imagine how happy i was?? Alhamdulillahhh...Yeahhhhhhhh!!!



So.. the conclusion of the story.. if ur just married for about a month++ and suddenly u are expecting a child.. that means.. u are a sniper mannn... HEADSHOT!! hahahaha...

8.30 - My wife started the car engine to send me to the LRT station.. everything was perfect except for these days i can't go to work wif my wife anymore coz she had resigned.. :( so i don't have an assistant anymore to hold my tickets.. to pay for the tickets coz i don't like queing, to buy me a waffle, someone that i can park my laptop while she was sitting and so on.. and i do miss the moment where we'll meet everyday at the kl sentral after work and i was so happy to see her waiting for me with a big smile on her face ( it's just a husband instinct.. hehe) and sometimes her hand was holding a FOOD... and the good thing is that from now on i can go quite as normal as all of my officemate does everyday and i don't have to open the office every morning anymore.. but suddenly i do realized this morning.. that i got another burden to think of.. i swear i never had this kind of feelings before..

As usual, as i went inside the train.. my head will turn around and around just to catch something that is good to my eye (and i bet every 90% of us man did this except for old guys who had his 'andropause' (or watever it is ) already).. haha.. and this morning.. none of the train passengers caught my eye.. :( and suddenly.. i began to think..think of something.. and i'll do this everday if i'm bored.. and of coz i'm bored standing and waiting for the train to reach the station..

What the hell is happening in our country rite now? suddenly this q went to my head.. do i really have to think bout the country? Don't they have someone better than me to think about the country's sake? this country already appointed a 'good' one i guess.. ahhh.. i hate this.. really.. Dude.. i've worked so hard to get to my current position now man.. my life is not as yours.. yours is easy and full of money.. but for me i've worked so hard just to earn a small sum per month.. and i've once even became an expert for some of your great companies 'as u claim' out there coz u don't have one.. come on..

And what is goin on last nite man? People is asking u some q's for the citizen's sake dude.. and wat is your answer?? ur answer is full of shit.. full of junk.. u even attack HIM personally and leave away all the questions hanging.. we don't want all those answers dude.. and now u are planning to arrest HIM.. why? did HE really commit that crime?? hey man.. if u could noticed.. HIS WIFE is the only one among the great M's wives that wore the scarf u know?? that is so ridiculous.. are u scared?? scared becoz there is a better one out there to lead the country? so that HE will exposed all of ur stupid *uck's crimes before !!?? Ohhh come on.. U know wat?? i work in quite a MNC's kind of company.. i was in shame man.. to hear that some of my frens from outside this country were talking bullshit bout some sensitive stuff.. don't u get it?? and it makes me really sad u know?? we use to be a great one before...

And i really sware for the second time.. back then.. i don't even know anything bout this kinda shit.. and it really bugs me to hear that someone out there is messing wif our future.. our money.. our parents money.. and watever money there is.. THE LOGIC IS OUT THERE!!

9.30 (last nite) - while i was concentrating watching the so called ' G's generosity '.. suddenly.. in the middle of the silence.. meowww.. meowww.. tsut.. tsut.. tsut (sounds that u make to attract cats).. and there goes my wife with her beloved cats.. in the middle between me and the tv.. OHHHHH GREAAATTTT!!!

Disebabkan sifat mudah mesra aku sebagai pekerja yang berdedikasi, banyak yang mencadangkan aku sebagai pekerja cemerlang.... Aku tipu je.. Sape nak calonkan orang yang selalu hilang untuk merokok sebagai pekerja cemerlang..? Ya.. Orang yang spesis macam aku tapi berpangkat tinggi je boleh buat macam tu.. Menggunakan otoriti sebagai platform menaikkan kroni-kroni..

Tapi cerita aku hari ni lain.. Mungkin boleh dapat anugerah chekgu cemerlang..

Nuno - Man, could you help me to learn some of malay languages?

Me - Sure! Give me the words, i'll translate for you..

Nuno - How to say Good Morning, Lunch, Thank You and Good Bye in malay?

Me - Its easy man, Good Morning is SE-LA-MAT PA-GI, Lunch is MA-KAN TE-NGA-HARI
Thank You is TE-RI-MA KA-SIH and Good Bye is SE-LA-MAT TING-GAL

Nuno - That's nice and its easy to pronounce..

Me - Why do you wanted so badly to learn about this words Nuno..?

Nuno - You know what, i find out, there's a lot of beautiful girl around here..so, maybe i can get one of them to chill out with me on weekends..

Me - You remind me of something, in malay i would say it "Ada Bangkai, Ada Hering"..

Nuno - What does it mean actually..?

Me - It means, wherever bad girl there is, you can find bad guy in the same place..

Nuno - Hahaha..im not bad or being evil, im just curious..

Me - Curious about asian girls? Thats another point of view for you being evil..

Nuno - Alright, but please teach me more of malay words..

Me - No problem, but we should continue tomorrow, and i'll bring some handouts for you..

Nuno - Yeah, i can make use of it..hahaha..

Nuno adalah rakan sekerja aku dari Portugal yang gemar melayan muzik hardcore dan sangat suka melayan keindahan aweks kat KL ni.. Huhuhu..

Obligadru... Terima kasih versi Portugis.. Amacam? Jangan jeles kalau aku cakap portugis lepas ni..

Entah dari mana tiba-tiba bidadari itu turun dan menjadi begitu marhaen.
Dalam koc serba terhimpit itu dia menceriakan semua warga.
Bau-bau peluh yang berlekitan bertukar menjadi begitu harum. Begitu wangi.
Dalam hati masing-masing, kami berdoa agar setiap momen kinetik tren dapat diperlahankan.
Semuanya kerana kurniaan Tuhan yang maha cantik itu.

Emm.. bang, wallet jatuh la..

Bisu.
.
Bisu.
.
Bisu.
.
Cantiknya dia, sehingga kata-kata terima kasih pun tidak terluah.

Raye taun ni aku rase cam tak lengkap je. Aku rase agak terkilan sebab rumah yang aku plan nak gi beraya tapi aku xpergi. Ada sorang atuk sedara still ingat lagi kat aku. Biasenye raye pertama aku akan pergi beraya bersama adik beradik aku tapi taun ni mase aku nak pergi rumah dia tertutup. Maka kami tangguh. Aku banyak menghabiskan masa kat rumah. Abg-abg dan akak aku tak banyak masa yang diaorg ada coz ada komitmen di sebelah mertua. adik aku palk sibuk ngan member dia. aku nak pergi sorang2 malas la plak. Aku nak sangat pergi bukan sebab ape, masa abg aku pergi beraya kat rumah atuk tu, atuk tu tanya khabar aku. terharu aku dibuatnya bila org tua cam dia still ingat kat aku. Aku ni bole dikira cucu yang jauh dpd dia. Ni belum kira bapa member kamcing aku masa sekolah rendah dulu. Ada sekali aku terjumpe dia dan aku tegur dia dan dia menceritakan kerap tertanya-tanya khabar aku. Pergh... lama tul. Dia still ingat lagi kat aku. Aku terharu. Aku ada tertanya-tanya kat diri sendiri dan ada gak aku buka cerita kat akak aku sebab ape yang diaorg ingat kat aku, akak aku kata sebab PR aku bagus. Aku tak setuju coz aku biase je tapi yang aku dapat rasakan mungkin aku ni best dimata diaorg. hee...

Ahh!! Mana nak carik duit ni.. Puas aku pusing satu rumah, dapat kutip seposen yang bersepah-sepah pun tak pe. Tapi memang malang, satu sen pun aku tak jumpa, apa maknanya semua ni? Dah berhijrah ke syiling-syiling yang selama ni aku nampak tapi tak kutip? Disebabkan kecerdasan otak aku hasil dari Scott's Emulsion, aku cuba berfikir secara kritis.

Yaa.. Akhirnya aku berjaya memikirkan satu penyelesaian fleksibel terhadap kesempitan hidup tidak berduit ni..

1st aku amik henfon 3G aku, pergi ke 'Main Menu' pilih 'Message' (bukan Massage ye.. mau Massage pergi Klang). Tekan pula 'Create New Message'. INGATAN! Kepada yang tak familiar, ini adalah cara buka mesej untuk model Motorola, bukan model henfon China yang entah apa entah setting dia.. Hahaha!

Apa yang aku buat!? Mestilah taip mesej.. Takkan nak buat video call pulak.. Apa jadah aku buka mesej kalau macam tu.. Aku compose Short Messaging System khas untuk member aku yang berbunyi..

Salam,

Wat the hell was this? Ahaaa.. Finally now I'll be able to do some blogging.. Welcome.. Welcome.. Mostly I'll be posting watever annoying things that clogs my precious brain.. Why? Coz I don't like wasting my time thinking for the things that I don't have to think.. But however, in his journey.. I'll try to keep my rebellious meter as low as posibble.. Instead, we will be reading more 'bout improving ourselves.. My life experience.. And I'll try my best to post in English coz it'll help me to improve myself in this language.. But however , watever language that i use to post is none of your business!! Haha..

Let the day begin,
Hear the starting gun,
Play from the heart today,
We will overcome,
When the game is over,
All the counting s done,
We were born to win Number One..

( Manowar - Number One )

We cares a lot together,
four still stand as one,
here we'll remain forever,
till our kingdoms one..

( Manowar - Brothers of Metal )

Time to burn, you losers better learn..
No one controls our goddamn life..

( Manowar - Return of the Warlord )

P/S :- Saje nak bikin panas!! Muahahahaha...

Salam,

Tujuan aku terima invitation nie sebab aku rasa aku dah layak untuk menulis blog. Walaupun terkial-kial nak mencari idea yang takde, namun aku gagahkan jua demi erti persahabatan.

Ibarat kata pepatah, "Ada aku dipandang hadap, tiada aku dipandang belakang"

Biar aku memulakan pra-salam entri yang pertama.

Sebelum bermula segala-gala, harap semua dapat bersabar.

Tunggu kemunculan semula aku (Hahahaha, ketawa dengan girang)

Inilah dia - Liga Manusia Ordinari

Assalamualaikum,

Blog apakah ini?

Sebenarnya blog ni aku cipta sebagai satu 'platform' buat aku dan kawan-kawan yang dijemput. 'Platform' apa neraka?

Ya, 'platfom' untuk kami tulis apa yang patut dan suka. Sebelum tu, bukan main diorang ni dok gebang-gebang nak buat blog la. Nak komplen tak puas hati kat bos la. Kat negara la. Kat Amerika la. Tapi haremmm..

Mengambil sempena inti pepatah 'kalau tak dipecahkan ruyung manakan dapat sagunya' [dan aku tau apa benda ruyung tu pun diorang tak tau. hahaha!], maka hari ni aku komited wujudkan satu blog berpaksikan pakatan kawan-kawan yang dijemput.

Jadi, ini bukan blog individual. Ini coretan semua penulis-penulis ordinari yang serba tak puas hati. Sila sila. Sila tulis. Sila baca.